Feeler

Eyes wide open.
My gaze was fixed upon the bane of my existence.
I stared and stared, not blinking for even a millisecond.
The clock struck an hour.
I felt my face with my hands; Everything was where it should’ve been - the eyes, the nose, the gaping wound of a mouth.
It was still.
I could feel the sweat oozing out of my pores. Fear had taken over… worthless, uncertain and silent.
Overwhelmed, I tried closing my eyes, and… I couldn’t.
“Obey me!” I shouted in my head. Oh how I wanted to close my eyes, to give in to that blissful darkness. Feel that unimaginable comfort. For once and for all.
The stillness was lifeless, as the silence screamed a million lies.
Piercing, penetrating screams that shivered my soul.
“Shut up!” I said, covering my ears with my hands, hoping to shut them out.
I could still hear the unthinkable.
What misery! Couldn’t close my eyes, couldn’t stop hearing everything that I shouldn’t be hearing. I was spellbound. This cannot be… No, this SHOULD NOT be!
“Shut up! Fuckin’ shut up!”
And it moved.
Everything stopped. The spell was broken.

“What time is it?” It asked. And I felt my tongue wiggle inside my mouth as my lips moved. I must’ve uttered something that it understood.
“There are things you fail to understand, my love” words echoed in my head in a voice I knew for so long. It was speaking to me. “Not everything is spoken in a language and not everything is heard through the ear. Sometimes, there are other mediums.”
There was light, there were flames as the voice faded into the emptiness of my mind.
It stood up and swirled out of my sight and into my chest.

A lot can be heard when you open your heart. I was never going to.